Hope Stape”s cottage industry of signing books about her serial killer dad is going so well Sam Blakeman calls her Michael Morpugo, the novelist best known for writing War Horse. Hope trots out the quote ‘Be cautious and bold,’ by PT Barnum, the circus showman who also  knew a fair bit about tricksy equines.

Nigel Kipling is still raving about his actress friend’s qualities. It seems the critics loved her Cleopatra, which strikes a chord with Ken Barlow and Brian Packham and induces an Antony And Cleopatra mutual quotegasm in the two Shakespeare buffs. ‘Let Rome in Tiber melt,’ quotes an excited Ken. ‘The triple pillar of the world transformed into a strumpet’s fool,’ quotes a trembling Brian. ‘Give me my robe, give me my crown, I have immortal longings in me,’ adds Nigel, turning it into a quotational threesome.

Later, Brian tries to break the news to Mary Taylor that she might need some help with her role in the play. He draws upon theatrical giants Konstantin Stanislavski (who developed the ‘system’ technique that emphasised the ‘art of experiencing’) and Bertolt Brecht (fourth wall demolisher) to get the point across, which – of course – fails to get the point across. In the end, he stops referring to directors and tries being direct instead. Mary refuses to accept the idea that a fellow actress would undermine her in such a manner. ‘Who is she?’ she asks. ‘Dame Helen? Dame Judi? Maggie would not stab a fellow artist in the back’. Et tu, Maggie?  – to almost quote from Antony And Cleopatra ‘prequel’ Julius Caesar.

Jacob Hay making an effort in the kitchen leads Amy Barlow to jest she might get him to enter Come Dine With Me. A very different TV show is under discussion at The Rovers, where Mary’s new acting coach Martha Fraser snuffs out the rumour that she was first choice to play DCI Jane Tennison in the classic ITV series Prime Suspect. No doubt to Dame Helen Mirren’s eternal relief, Martha was already committed to playing Nina in Anton Chekhov’s The Seagull in Chichester. Martha is an old flame of Ken’s (who isn’t?) and, considering her theatrical credentials, she must be wincing inside when he misquotes Hamlet. ‘Methinks the lady doth protest too much,’ he says. But what’s a misplaced methinks between friends?

Coronation Street episode 10803/04. Originally aired 24th Nov 2022.