Max Turner is struggling with the TV remote at the Young Offenders Institute when Gav Adetiba walks in and asks if he’s trying to watch Loose Women. It’s a good thing Denise Welch is on a break from the lunchtime panel show because Max watching the actress who played former Rovers landlady Natalie Barnes, not to mention her recent connection with Taylor Swift, might create a meta wormhole that results in an extinction event.
At Roy’s Rolls, Aggie, Ed and Ronnie Bailey are looking at a flyer from Debbie Webster. Debbie has organised a Japanese-French fusion tasting menu with a guest chef at her new hotel. Ronnie jokes that Ed’s idea of Japanese-fusion is ‘the guy who used to jump out at Inspector Clouseau in the Pink Panther movies’. He means Cato Fong, who attacked Clouseau at random moments so the hapless French detective could keep his martial arts skills honed. Cato was played by Burt Kwouk, who was born in Warrington, about 20 miles from Weatherfield. Ed and Ronnie are inspired to break out their best Clouseau impressions, which involve saying ‘a bombe’ in a Gallic accent with a ketchup dispenser as a prop.
The Baileys are at the hotel having prinks, which means pre-dinner drinks and isn’t, as Aggie mistakenly believes, a term of abuse. She tells Debbie the last time Ed took her out for dinner and drinks they went to a Berni Inn, way back when he looked like a young Denzel Washington. Later, after bumping into a couple called Yvette and Patrick Leighton, who were Aggie and Ed’s neighbours at their previous house, they all talk about the tasting. Debbie says the Japanese chef was on the BBC’s cookery show Saturday Kitchen. When the snooty Leightons discover that Aggie and Ed now live in Weatherfield, they call the area ‘grungy’ and describe it as looking like an LS Lowry painting where everyone has rickets. Harsh. Unless they mean Adam Rickitt, who used to play Nick Tilsley?
Ryan Connor learns that Crystal Hyde is in a coma after having an accident. Moments later, he receives a text from Crystal (actually sent by Daisy Midgeley) and realises he’s being catfished. The word was coined by Nev Schulman, who was the subject of the 2010 film documentary Catfish and has presented MTV’s small-screen version since 2012. Ryan has a ‘girlfriend’ in a coma and just-convicted Justin Rutherford named himself after another song by The Smiths – This Charming Man – when he started stalking Daisy. When you also consider that Denise Welch has been a guest on Saturday Kitchen, that meta wormhole suddenly feels like a distinct possibility.
Coronation Street episode 10971/72. Originally aired 5th June 2023.
