Coronation Street mainstay Jane Austen is back. When Daisy Midgeley muses about the idiocy of her mum Christina Boyd dating sicko stalker Justin Rutherford, Daniel Osbourne offers up a relevant line from Pride And Prejudice: ‘It’s very often nothing but our own vanity that deceives us,’ he says, quoting the novel’s Jane Bennet. Possibly deceived by his own vanity, Tim Metcalfe arranges to go clubbing with his daughter Faye Windass and boasts that he still has some impressive dancefloor moves. ‘You do realise they don’t do the Macarena anymore, don’t you, grandpa?’ asks Shona Platt, without a trace of Austenian gentility.
Beth Sutherland is upset about her husband Kirk giving her the silent treatment after she slapped Hope Stape. In a bid to rekindle his affections, Beth digs out the couple’s memory box. Among their prized possessions are a curl from the Adam Ant wig Kirk wore at their wedding. Beth stands and delivers a heartfelt plea for reconciliation, but Kirk says he needs more time.
Tim has cooked a meal for Faye and his wife Sally Metcalfe. Not deceived by vanity when it comes to his culinary skills, Tim concedes he’s no Gordon Ramsay. But he does claim to be ‘an enigma wrapped up in a puzzle’, which is a reversal of how Winston Churchill described Stalinist Russia in 1939. At The Rovers, Kirk and Beth are building bridges. Their memory box reveals some more of its contents, including tickets from the time they saw a Stone Roses tribute band called Tone’s Roses. ‘They were brilliant,’ remembers Kirk. ‘Sounded just like them, except the singer was in tune.’ The romantic bridge collapses abruptly when Kirk finds a letter from Beth’s ex Marco Sweeney in the box and storms off. Beth subsequently tells Glenda Shuttleworth that Marco was a gorgeous cross between Richard Gere and Antonio Banderas. Glenda finds that hard to believe, but Beth is adamant he’s a real Prince Charming.
Coronation Street episode 10896/97. Originally aired 8th March 2023.
