Before he leaves for France, Steve McDonald ensures Tommy Orpington is well stocked up on biscuits for the decorating job. Biscuits are a vital part of any workman’s nutritional input, reckons Steve, but his wife Tracy insists six packets is overkill. ‘He isn’t entering the Olympics,’ she says. At Roy’s Rolls, Bethany Platt is deeply engrossed in her writing. Daniel Osbourne pops in on his way to work and is envious of her commitment. He complains about having to teach romantic poetry to a group of teens who aren’t remotely interested.

Later, Roy Cropper uses the philosophical adage Hanlon’s razor to explain Leanne Battersby’s behaviour to Carla Barlow. ‘Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity,’ he says. While Roy stresses he isn’t describing Leanne as stupid, Carla has no qualms about saying she possesses a ‘big, fat gob’. Roy looks puzzled when Simon Barlow arrives and calls himself a ‘nepo baby’. No one takes the time to explain to Roy that the term – which has circulated on social media since 2018 – describes celebrity offspring who get creative breaks from their famous parents.

At the end of Tommy’s first day of decorating, Tracy rewards him with an alcohol-free beer and has something stronger herself. ‘It’s five o’clock somewhere,’ justifies Tommy, quoting from the song of the same name that was a hit for Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffett in 2003. He reveals that was also his ex-wife’s catchphrase. Tracy says her mum Deirdre was a big fan of the song too, which prompts the pair to break into a spontaneous rendition of the chorus. How much would Steve love to be at home right now and joining in?

It turns out Simon doesn’t qualify as a nepo baby after all. His dad Peter rings to say he can’t join him on the yachting voyage across the Mediterranean. Over drinks at The Rovers, Daniel tells Bethany she’s standing on the shoulders of investigative greats from the past, like John Pilger and George Orwell. Amazingly, trained journalist Bethany hasn’t heard of either pillar of her industry. Daniel barrel-scrapes a reference to Stacey Dooley instead, which Bethany is happy with.

Coronation Street episode 11176/11177. Originally aired 29th Jan 2024.