Newlyweds Billy Mayhew and Paul Foreman are enjoying a post-wedding day breakfast spread at Roy’s Rolls. Bernie Winter suggests the feast starts with the healthier fare before they dive into ‘the lardy treats’. Her daughter Gemma approves the plan, calling Bernie ‘Batman’ because of the meticulous nature of her plan. Billy and Paul are poring over the Polaroid snaps from their church wedding. Paul thinks the way his hair looks in the photos would give the young Elvis Presley a run for his money. Elvis had a hit in 1965 with the song Crying In The Chapel, which could be a foreshadowing of troubles to come. A photo of the couple exchanging their rings is missing, and we know it was accidentally dropped on the floor of the church during the previous episode.
While Tyrone Dobbs works on a car engine at the garage, he seems to be inventing a noir narrative about a maverick FBI agent called Blake Black, who’s called out of retirement to solve a case. But when Kevin Webster joins in with Tyrone’s story, it becomes clear this is another fictional TV series (or maybe a film) that’s unique to the Corrieverse. Here’s hoping the show becomes a regular topic of conversation on the Street, in the way the made-up horror series Zombezi did. We learn that Kevin isn’t a fan of Blake Black because ‘his teeth are too big’. There’s actually an oblique nod to Zombezi a few moments later, when Cassie Plummer turns up and Tyrone tells her she looks like The Walking Dead.
The anticipated problem with the photo of the church wedding comes to pass, as Bishop Greg Townsend visits Billy and Paul. He tells them the situation is similar to the New Testament story of Salome. Paul is confused, so Billy explains that the Church wants ‘my head on a platter’ like the decapitated John The Baptist. Christian charity raises its hypocritical head again. Pious trolls are posting their thoughts about the gay marriage on social media, with one individual betraying his ignorance of the religion he follows by quoting The Old Testament’s Book Of Leviticus: ‘Thou shalt not lie with a man as a woman, it is an abomination.’ As Archdeacon Billy points out, Leviticus says the same thing about eating shellfish, having a disability, wearing clothes from different fibres and having a tattoo. By those mankind-encompassing definitions of what constitutes an abomination, Heaven must be a very empty place. Meanwhile, at the garage Kevin Webster tells his wife Abi he let Cassie Plummer stay over after her drunken binge. Abi compares him to the Good Samaritan, who featured in The Gospel Of Luke. Heaven beckons, Kevin, as long as you don’t eat any prawn sandwiches or get inked.
Eliza Woodrow drops in at No 6 to collect her belongings. As she’s leaving, her father Dom Everett says Mario and Princess Peach will be waiting for them on Mario Kart when they get home. At Roy’s Rolls, God and the Church are the topic of discussion, with Roy Cropper agreeing with Billy’s notion that the twin pillars of Christianity may be mutually exclusive. At Weatherfield General, Gary Windass is also seeking some answers. He interrogates Liam Connor about who supplied him with a vape pen. Liam admits it was new dickhead on the block Mason Radcliffe, who lives on the Paul Robeson estate. The estate (also the childhood stomping ground of twins Paul and Gemma) is named in honour of the American singer, actor and activist Paul Robeson (1898-1976). Summer Spellman, Bernie and Paul are scrolling through social media posts from affronted parishioners. Summer observes that one self-righteous soul has an obsession with Sodom and Gomorrah. The Biblical cities were bywords for debauchery, so we can assume lardy treats were never off the menu.
Coronation Street episode 11075/11076. Originally aired 3rd Oct 2023.
