The phrase ‘the university of life’ was first used in academic circles during the 19th Century. In 21st Century Weatherfield, George Shuttleworth uses it to describe the undertaking business, but Eileen Grimshaw thinks George’s profession is more like a university of death. George’s protégé Todd Grimshaw gets an education he doesn’t want when he learns about a job opportunity with a rival firm. Todd tells Glenda Shuttleworth that he’s lost his faith in humanity because her brother hid the offer from him, which leads Glenda to call him Debbie Downer. The mood-lowering Debbie Downer character was created by US comedian Rachel Dratch and made her debut on Saturday Night Live in 2004.
From being a downer to being on your uppers. Ronnie and Ed Bailey aren’t hard up, but Ronnie tells his brother they can make some serious money if they buy shares in the Newton & Ridley brewery. Ed thinks it’s a dodgy scheme and asks: ‘Where did you get this wonderful information? Off The Crypto King or The Tinder Swindler?’ Ed’s clearly a big fan of Netflix documentaries about scammers, with Trust No One: The Hunt For The Crypto King and the Tinder Swindler both streaming in the last year. When he hears that Debbie Webster was Ronnie’s source, he’s even less down with the idea.
George and Todd are talking about coffins. Todd reveals that, when he one day has to shuffle off this mortal coil, he wants to be buried in a coffin covered with pictures of Ryan Gosling. Perhaps he could call it The Notebox? Later, Todd meets up with Troy Soyer from Rest Easy, the company who’ve been headhunting him. Todd reckons their first names sound like they should both be members of a Nineties boy band. What would an undertaking-themed boy band call themselves? New Kids On The Slab? Boys II Dead Men? Postlife? Ant & Death?
Ryan Connor has been posting pics of his pumped-up body online, but he always keeps his face hidden. When he tells a subscriber called Liv that he used to be a DJ, Liv asks if he’s really Calvin Harris. ‘More like Keith Harris,’ jokes Ryan, but his reference to the late ventriloquist who operated Orville The Duck flies right over Liv’s head. At Viaduct Bistro, George walks in on Todd’s secret meeting with Troy. It’s George’s turn to feel betrayed and he instantly summons up a line from The New Testament’s Gospel Of Matthew to sum up the situation. ‘A man’s enemies will be from his own house,’ he says. George’s arsenal is well stocked with New Testament references, as he also brands Todd a ‘Judas’ and a ‘snake in the grass’. Maybe to prove he does have other cultural reference points, George takes his next insult from the 1969 Hanna-Barbera cartoon series The Perils Of Penelope Pitstop. He calls Troy ‘Sylvester Sneekly, The Hooded Claw’, after the villain who sought to do away with Penelope and claim her inheritance for himself.
Another evildoer gets a mention when Roy Cropper seeks to correct the myth that Italian dictator Benito Mussolini (1883-1945) made the trains run on time. Debbie is reluctant to listen to Roy’s speech as she’s standing on the cobbles with a bag of groceries, but he continues to lecture her about how the improvements in Italy’s railway system took place well before Il Duce came to power. ‘Well, that’s fascists for you, isn’t it?’ she says, before rushing off because her Peach Melba is melting. The dessert was created in 1882 by the French chef Auguste Escoffier. He made it to honour the Australian opera singer Nellie Melba, who was staying at London’s Savoy Hotel.
Back at the Bistro, George argues with Todd that there’s more to job satisfaction than money. ‘What does it profit a man to gain the world but lose his soul?’ he reasons. ‘What is it with you and scripture today?’ asks Todd. Not just scripture, but Matthew’s Gospel yet again. I should probably check if George’s reference to The Hooded Claw and Penelope Pitstop was taken from The New Testament as well. At The Rovers, Debbie calls Ronnie ‘Nervous Nellie’. The nickname was coined in the 1920s for a US Republican senator called Frank B Kellogg, who definitely wasn’t one of Jesus’s disciples from The Gospel According To Matthew.
Coronation Street episode 11037/11038. Originally aired 21st Aug 2023.
