After spending the previous evening imbibing alcohol and smoking cigarettes, Brian Packham feels queasy. Mary Taylor spots him belching his way along the cobbles. ‘Heavy hangs the head that last night wore the crown?’ she asks, paraphrasing a line from Shakespeare’s Henry IV Part 2. Later, Brian’s head hangs even more heavily when he sees what an expert job George Shuttleworth has done assembling his model of the Golden Hind.

Roy Cropper is about to take his dog Freddie for a walk. Nina Lucas says Roy is nervous in case Freddie chases after a cat and he needs to give pursuit like Usain Bolt. So Evelyn Plummer tags along to avert a feline-based incident. She says she admired the methods of Barbara Woodhouse, the no-nonsense dog trainer who became a TV personality in the Eighties. While Evelyn moans about young people dropping their consonants and Americanisms creeping into common usage, Roy experiences chest pains.

After Isabella Benvenuti sabotages George’s Golden Hind with some glue, Brian accidentally damages the ship. George retaliates by ‘dry docking’ Brian’s HMS Endeavour in his hearse. It’s left to Todd Grimshaw to play harbour master and demand the release of Brian’s impounded ship. ‘D’oh,’ says George, channeling his inner Homer Simpson and handing over the hearse keys.

Chesney Brown and Gemma Winter are having their party at The Rovers. While everyone gyrates to Groove Is In The Heart by Dee-Lite, Rita Tanner has some dancing tips to pass on. Back in her nightclub entertainer days she met the choreographer and dancer Lionel Blair, who told her: ‘Smile and hoof.’ Gemma spots Paul Foreman looking glum, so she tries to get him smiling and hoofing along to Let’s Get Ready To Rhumble by PJ & Duncan. Paul is hiding the symptoms of his Motor Neurone Disease, so he tells her to hoof off. At Viaduct Bistro, Todd is the peacemaker once again as he gets Brian, Isabella, George and Mary to put their differences behind them. ‘All’s well that ends well,’ says Todd, resurrecting the Shakespearean theme.

Coronation Street episode 10962/63. Originally aired 24th May 2023.