‘No peace for the wicked’ is one of those cliches (like the even more groan-inducing ‘for my sins’) that acts as a conversational placeholder when we can’t think of anything better to say. Ed Bailey churns out the phrase, which dates back to the Old Testament’s Book Of Isaiah, when Sarah Barlow comments on how busy he is. At No 9, Cassie Plummer dashes home after getting an urgent text from her mum Evelyn. It was only a message to say that her lunch is ready, but Cassie thought she might have had a fall. Evelyn sarcastically offers to do a Fosbury flop by way of compensation, referring to the game-changing high jump method perfected by Dick Fosbury in 1968. The new technique won the US athlete a gold medal at the Mexico City Olympics. Later, Evelyn quotes another American high-achiever. When Cassie boasts about her brainpower, Evelyn says: ‘The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree’. The saying is attributed to the author Ralph Waldo Emerson in 1839, although he was inspired by an old German proverb. For his sins.
Billy Mayhew warns Summer Spellman against returning from her trip to Boston, Massachusetts, with an American accent. He recalls someone he knew who spent time in Wakefield, West Yorkshire, and ‘her accent was so thick she made Jane McDonald sound posh’. The queen of cruise ships and sculptress Barbara Hepworth can lay claim to being Wakefield’s most famous daughters, but Helen Worth (who plays Gail Rodwell) also hails from there. Summer teases Billy that she’ll be sure to wear the Make America Great Again cap Todd Grimshaw has bought for her. As intended, the racist dog-whistle headgear grates with Billy’s Christian sensibilities. Donald Trump has popularised the MAGA slogan in knuckle-dragging quarters, but it was first used by Ronald Reagan in 1980.
At Harry Platt’s birthday party, his uncle David tries out a VR headset and finds himself wandering around a virtual farmyard. Damon Hay arrives late because he’s been taking part in a real-life Grand Theft Auto-style raid on a security van. Damon steps up to DJ duties, asking if anyone wants to hear some drum and bass or a bit of psychedelic trance house. He settles on Ed Sheeran instead. For everyone’s sins.
The Rovers is heavy on theme nights these days, in a bid to attract more customers. This time it’s Quiz Night, with Glenda Shuttleworth asking the questions. One poser is the anagram ‘sniffled rotten’, with the clue that it’s a cartoon character. Evelyn boasts hat anagrams are her speciality, but Cassie works out the answer is ‘Fred Flintstone’ before her mum has time to say ‘Yabba dabba do’. Cassie attributes her word-solving skills to years of watching Countdown. Which means she must have seen Maureen Lipman (who plays Evelyn) when she guested on Dictionary Corner. Meta. The next question concerns the name of the first computer to have a stored memory. Evelyn is all over this one, correctly identifying it as ‘Baby’ because she’s seen a replica in Manchester’s Science And Industry Museum. Evelyn and Cassie’s team (The Plum Plummers) are doing well. Unfortunately, the team featuring lawyers Adam Barlow and Dee-Dee Bailey (The Legal Eagles) are doing just as well – not least because they can overhear Cassie’s loud voice broadcasting the answers.
Paul Foreman’s deteriorating health means he can no longer eat solids, so Billy puts his roast dinner in the blender. Paul looks on the bright side, saying: ‘If it’s good enough for Lady Gaga, it’s good enough for me.’ The singer was reported to be eating baby food to lose weight in 2010, but she dismissed the story as nonsense. Back at The Rovers, first place is a draw between The Plum Plummers and The Legal Eagles. It goes to a tie-break. ‘Who released The Birdie Song?’ asks Glenda. Evelyn reckons it was Black Lace, while Cassie thinks it was The Tweets. They’re both right, but Cassie commits the cardinal quizzing sin of Googling the answer. Before Glenda has finished asking the next question about which city Shakespeare’s Romeo And Juliet was set in, The Legal Eagles accuse their opponents of cheating. Instant disqualification. Don’t lawyers ever switch off from their work? Well, there’s no rest for the wicked.
Coronation Street episode 11222/11223. Originally aired 25th March 2024.
