There may not be any herald angels, but we can hark to the sound of Andy Williams singing It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year as the residents of Coronation Street welcome in Christmas Day. When Mary Taylor tells Evelyn Plummer she’s looking forward to trying her legendary trifle, Evelyn hopes she likes a lot of sherry. ‘Like Orson Welles at a stag do,’ cries an excited Mary. The cinematic genius famously advertised Domecq sherry in a series of TV adverts in the Seventies, when he found it impossible to secure work as a director. Welles wasn’t exclusive in his alcohol endorsements, also appearing in ads for Carlsberg lager, Jim Beam whisky, Sandeman port and Paul Masson wine. If Evelyn’s trifle contains all that lot, Mary’s in trouble.
Champagne is the beverage of choice for Billy Mayhew and Paul Foreman. Billy uncorks the fizz as Paul presses play on a James Bond movie. At Roy’s Rolls, Roy Cropper, Mary and Evelyn are preparing their roast turkey dinner. The radio is blaring out non-festive golden oldies, so Mary suggests switching to another station. However, Evelyn threatens extreme violence if anyone touches the dial. ‘If I hear All I Want For Christmas Is You one more time, I shall commit hara-kiri. Hara-Carey, as it happens,’ she says. Mary and Roy don’t want the inconvenience of Evelyn ritually disembowelling herself in protest at the ubiquity of Mariah Carey’s seasonal hit, so they steer well clear of the tuning dial. With that gory image etched on their minds, there’s a distinct possibly neither of them will opt for turkey giblets this year.
Instead of family functions, the Barlows tend to have family dysfunctions. Mercifully, this year’s Christmas gathering is quieter than most. But it’s actually too quiet for the younger attendees. Simon heads off to the pub. Amy excuses herself a few moments later. ‘Et tu, Amy?’ says Carla, earning a compliment from Ken for her reference to Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar. Back at the cafe, Roy’s gift for Evelyn – a limited edition copy of the novel South Riding – proves to be a great success. Steve McDonald has also fled the Barlow get-together and decamped to Viaduct Bistro. Christmas is a good time for dispensing proverbs – especially ones that are Victorian in origin – and Steve avails himself of a well-worn classic in relation to his enduring sex appeal. ‘Many a fine tune is played on an old fiddle,’ he proclaims. (The jury is still out on whether it’s wise to publicly announce yourself as an old fiddler.)
Bernie Winter makes a video call to her family from prison. When she hears Away In A Manger playing in the background, she tells her twins Gemma and Paul that the 19th Century carol was their favourite when they were little. Cue a family singsong, which smoothly transitions into a brass-band version of the tune. The episode is brought to a close with stars twinkling in Weatherfield’s night sky. Or could they be angels? We should never have tried Evelyn’s trifle.
Coronation Street episode 11145. Originally aired 25th Dec 2023.
