Daisy Midgeley has been busy looking after Ryan Connor recently, so to curry favour with Daniel Osbourne she lets him choose their date night activity. ‘Arthouse film, planetarium, science museum, you name it,’ she says. Aptly, he chooses a curry at Speed Daal. Meanwhile, Summer Spellman is planning a Eurovision party while Billy Mayhew is away. Where is Archdeacon Billy? He’s gone to Liverpool to watch Eurovision live. You need friends in high places to get a ticket and they don’t come much higher than God.

Jenny Connor compares Daisy with Florence Nightingale after she returns from visiting Ryan. The nursing icon was known as The Lady With The Lamp, but Daisy is the woman with the fake online account as she continues to pretend she’s Crystal Hyde and text Ryan. She tells him she’s waxing her toes, adding: ‘I swear there must be a Hobbit somewhere in my bloodline.’ In a bid to distance herself from electro-loving Ryan, she also pretends that ‘Crystal’ isn’t a fan of the genre. Daisy types that she prefers pop, before deleting it, then indie, before deleting that as well. She finally settles on country, after asking Jenny what her favourite type of music is. But the ploy doesn’t work because Ryan leaves a voice message admitting he’s also a country music fan.

Kirk Sutherland is also going to a Eurovision party with his fellow football mascots. He’s practising making borscht because the beetroot soup recipe will be his key dish on the night. Kirk has also been having a dream where Roy Cropper flies up to the ceiling and hangs upside down like a bat. Batroy is Kirk’s name for this frankly terrifying image. I’m sure Nina Lucas would absolutely love it if that happened, though.

Daniel’s class of young offenders are discussing George Orwell’s 1949 novel Nineteen Eighty-Four, which leads to him explaining the differences between the study of language and the study of literature. The book’s main character Winston Smith kept a forbidden diary. Daniel uses that as an opportunity to speak to Max Turner in a surreptitious manner in front of the class about how he did a similar thing with his video message. But Max dismisses Nineteen Eighty-Four because it was written ‘what, 200 years ago?’ He also needs maths lessons. ‘I always really enjoyed The Very Hungry Caterpillar,’ he claims. The children’s picture book by Eric Carle was published in 1969. That’s, what, 100 years ago?

Coronation Street episode 10950/51. Originally aired 10th May 2023.