You have to admire how Coronation Street’s scriptwriters can recalibrate their cultural sights so quickly. Just a few seconds after Stephen Reid is going through an intense Crime And Punishment moment reliving how he killed Leo Thompkins, Daisy Midgeley is reassuring her stepmum Jenny Connor that the missing Leo is probably just recovering from a hangover, ‘passed out on some mate’s couch somewhere with a head like… Who’s got a big head?’ Daniel Osbourne suggests: ‘Frank Sidebottom.’ From Dostoyevsky to the Timperley troubadour’s papier-mâché bonce in less time than it takes to say ‘bobbins’ in a nasal voice. Impressive.

Stephen is Corrie’s very own Raskolnikov and he’s creeping around at The Rovers, trying to cover up his criminal deeds while Daylight by Maroon 5 plays on a radio. Pure evil. And Stephen isn’t much better. The pop references are coming thick and fast as we hear a brief snippet of Gemma Winter singing along to ilomilo by Billie Eilish and Daisy tells Jenny not to reproach herself over Leo’s disappearance because ‘even Rihanna has an off day’.

Jenny mentions the Bayeux Tapestry to Rita Sullivan. The Bayeux Tapestry depicts events spanning a couple of years in the 11th Century and it’s about  the same length as three swimming pools. A tapestry chronicling everything that’s happened in Weatherfield over the last 62 years would span the Atlantic. Presumably it would be called the By ‘Eck Tapestry.

There’s a rare foray into the world of porn when Weatherfield County’s manager Bob Dover rings James Bailey. James’ mum Aggie says: ‘I know his brother, Ben.’ Meanwhile, Bernie is recalling what Noel Gallagher said to her on the dancefloor of the Hacienda club in the summer of 1989. ‘You’re a one-off, Bern,’ he told her. The revelations get bigger. ‘I miss that lad,’ she says. ‘You know, he wrote Wonderwall about me.’

A songwriter we can be sure Bernie didn’t meet at the Hacienda is John Denver, whose Leaving On A Jet Plane is suggested by Daniel when Rita asks for song requests at The Rovers. But, given half a chance, that probably still wouldn’t deter Bernie from claiming Annie’s Song was written about her.

Coronation Street episode 10755/56. Originally aired 28th Sept 2022.