A customer called Ange Carlisle arrives at Webster’s Autocentre and is greeted by Abi Webster and Cassie Webster. Cassie jokingly introduces herself and Abi as Tweedledum and Tweedledee. The lookalike characters are best known from their appearance in Lewis Carroll’s 1871 novel Alice Through The Looking Glass, although the pair actually have their origins in a 1725 satire by the poet John Byrom. When garage boss Kevin Webster appears, we go even further back into literary history as Abi describes him as ‘a rose between two thorns,’ a phrase coined by the 4th Century Roman historian Ammianus Marcellinus.
Crisis at The Rovers! New owners Waterfords announce their intention to renovate the Street’s beloved boozer, and the bar staff are sacked with immediate effect. Solicitor Adam Barlow walks in as the official documents are handed to Jenny Connor, and he tells the Waterfords representative that the David And Goliath situation won’t be a good look for his company. Like the story in The Old Testament’s Book Of Samuel, it’s one in the eye for the corporate bully, but the rep is undeterred. He instructs everyone to collect their belongings and leave before The Rovers is boarded up.
Ryan Connor is also on the move. He’s renting a room at Lauren Bolton’s flat in the precinct. As he’s carrying his things to the new digs, he gets verbally abused by a group of inbred trolls. One of them compares him with Nightmare On Elm Street’s sadistic killer Freddy Krueger. Ryan angrily turns on his abuser, who backs away in fear. If Coronation Street were broadcast with Smell-O-Vision, the stench of shit in the trousers of the terrified troll would be overpowering.
Back at The Rovers, Adam is poring over the documents. Glenda Shuttleworth asks him if the staff will have any legal recourse against Waterfords. She utilises the rhyming slang ‘Motley Crue’ for ‘sue’. The hair-metal band are a perfect fit with legalese, given their numerous run-ins with the law. Jenny Connor calls Adam ‘LA Law’, after the long-running US courtroom drama, but no amount of nicknames or slang can alter the fact that The Rovers’ staff are totally screwed. Glenda plucks a Shakespeare quote from the ether to sum up their situation. ‘Like flies to wanton boys, we are,’ she says, paraphrasing a line from King Lear.
It remains to be seen if the new owners can organise a piss-up in a brewery, but Jenny proves she’s more than capable of organising one in a pub by inviting all the regulars to drink The Rovers dry. With the bacchanalian party in full swing, Jenny casts an eye over what she’s created and describes the drunken scene as ‘The House Of The Rising Sun’, after the traditional folk song about a house of ill repute in New Orleans. The song speaks of the ‘sin and misery’ experienced by visitors to the fictional establishment. That’s also the case for some of the revellers at The Rovers, but there’s no doubt every single one of them will miss the old place when it’s gone.
Coronation Street episode 11069/11070. Originally aired 26th Sept 2023.
